The Pagan Name Generator
 

So, you've decided to become a pagan. Great! But you can't show up at the next full moon ritual, all set to shuck off your clothes and leap over a flaming cauldron with a staid, boring regular name. No, you need a special name. A pagan name.

"So," you say to yourself, "how do I get this pagan name? What name should I choose? How will it reflect my new, magickal persona?"

Well, you've come to the right place.

One way to get your pagan name is to do a vision quest. This involves sitting outdoors without any food or toilet paper or web browser, and staying within the confines of a very small circle, until you start to get really fed up and start hallucinating that you are watching television. This is the time to watch very carefully -- the images on the mental television you see will give you your pagan name. The problem with this method is the high attrition rate; most people only sit in the small circle until they get fed up enough to go back to a conventional, organized religion. Also, it is responsible for many pagans named Gilligan and Oprah.

Another way to get your pagan name is blah blah blah...

But you're not really interested in those other ways, else you wouldn't have come here, to the Pagan Name Generator. You want someone else to do the hard work for you. Okay, we will. But in order to make this really work, and be really valid, a true reflection of your magickal persona as your name, you have to do the following:

1. Recite this chant before using the generator:
"Oh, great Pseudonomys, god of monikers
Empower this web page to reveal my true name."

2. Think at least one happy thought.

3. Select your preferred gender:

Female Male Hey, don't oppress me with your gender politics.

4. Click the button.

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